Friday, October 17, 2014

Diary of a Jets Loss & Week 7 NFL Picks

Welcome to Thursday Night Football. Come for the sloppy play and stay for the lopsided score! Tonight, the 1-5 Jets, with their worst team since about 1995, head into New England to face a Patriots team on its last legs. Embrace the Rivarly!?!

Most of the Thursday night games have been dreadful this year and the trend may continue tonight. Why not give these guys one more day and move these to Friday? Like we're not going to watch? My prediction: Pats 30 Jets 20 (which is a push btw).   
Here are some things I’m looking forward to tonight
1)   Geno’s first poor throw that elicits an audible sigh of disgust from Jim Nantz and an "aw shucks" from Phil Simms.
2)   How many times they refer to Rex Ryan being on the “hot seat” while not mentioning the Jets GMs who put this monstrosity together.  
3)   A Nick Folk field goal attempt (he usually makes them!)
4) Belichick looking grumpy. 
A picture of betrayal. 
And some things I’m not looking forward to:
1)      Darrelle Revis in a Pats uniform. So many levels of wrong.
2)      Gronkowski doing his bro' stuff against any Jets’ defender
3)      Any receiver against the Jets’ secondary.
4)      The inevitable shot of Buttfumble and of Mo Lewis crushing Drew Bledsoe, which is great until they cut to a shot of Tom Brady. 

1st Quarter: 
15:00: I like the body language from the Jets tonight. They have a look that says, "hey, we're not losing 31-0 tonight, because we know a lot of their plays!" 

13:40: 7-0 Patriots. What was I just saying? Tom Brady hits Shane Vereen for a long score. Full disclosure, Brady is on my fantasy team and I'm playing him tonight. I have no regrets, but that was awkward for me. 

6:33: After a rather exhausting 13 play drive, the Jets kick a field goal. The Jets offense is a field goal kicker's dream. If Folk ever misses a kick it will really force them to question themselves and everything they believe in. 

1:16: Chris Johnson runs for a 1 yard gain. It might be his longest run of the game, so wanted to give him his props. 

"I am Legend." 
0:24: Another Nick Folk field goal after an 11 play drive. You can't contain Nick Folk, people! Every 2014 Jets drive resembles the Battle of Verdun. Lots of struggling in the trenches, pain, suffering, regret, delirium... and everyone wonders why it couldn't have ended sooner. 

2nd Quarter 
5:37: Shane Vereen scoots past the artist formerly known as David Harris. Harris gets chop blocked by a teammate to add a little injury to the insult. 

4:22: TD pass to Vereen. I can't lie, I'm glad it wasn't a rushing TD. The Patriots take the lead and prove once and for all that 2 touchdowns are better than 3 FGs. I remain skeptical of this "new math."  Patriots 14 Jets 9. 

4:14: Someone named Walter Powell returns the kick 60 yards. I don't know who you are buddy, but you're hired! I don't even care that you didn't touch the Penske file

4:07: Geno spikes a short range pass into Eric Decker's head while he's not looking. There's the Jets offense I know. 

1:30: Chris Ivory runs for 10 up the middle and then another 8. He's so much better than Chris Johnson it's ridiculous. 2nd and goal....get ready, field goal unit! 

1:04: You're never going to guess what happened. The Nick Folk fan club (called Folk's Folks) grows even bigger to 9 people. Pats 14 Jets 12. Just enough time for Brady to get another 7, nice clock management, fellas! 

0:00: They only get 3 points. Victory! Pats 17 Jets 12 at the half. 

Halftime: Deion Sanders says Geno Smith is being too cautious with the football. I'll give an Amen to that statement. 

Oh no, a Philips Rivers interview. He's wearing a Charger hat and sweatshirt just in case
I urge you to Google "Philip Rivers complaining."
Enjoy the ride. 
you didn't recognize him by his annoying face. Rivers proceeds to complain about having a hard time hearing James Brown and Bill Cower. The guy just loves to complain! 

3rd Quarter: 
12:00: The Jets come out with 7 straight running plays like it's 1931. It's followed by a pass to Decker for a 1st Down. The groundwork for the next field goal has been laid. 

8:58: Chris Ivory over the top for something called a "TD"! His dreadlocks flew quite majestically on that one. Wait, you're allowed to score 6 points at once and then get another 1 via an extra point? Such wizardry! 

5:40: After a BS holding call, Julian Edelman runs for a 1st down and does his best Nat Moore helicopter impression. This is followed by a slow-motion shot of Rex complaining and jiggling his body parts. That was gratuitous, but not as bad as it would have looked a few years ago.

3:45: Gostkowski sneaks one through the uprights. Pats 20 Jets 19. 

1:37: Ryan Quigley punts for the first time. I'm not sure if he's from "down under", but I'm going to assume so because it's better that way. When you punt for the first time late in the 3rd quarter and you're still losing, you're doing football wrong. 

1:00: Antonio "Pop Tart" Allen broke up a pass on 3rd down. I had to rewind 4 times to make sure it happened. 

4th Quarter

14:00: Geno does that thing where he runs backwards really fast for 15 yards and gets tackled. Ho-hum. 

"You look great, man." "No, you look great. So puffy" 
11:45: The Pats D coordinator looks a cereal killer. Like, he would just destroy a box of Count Chocula.  

11:40: A Mike Vick sighting. He enters the game after Geno gets bent sideways. Vick runs for 5 yards, dives forward all willy nilly and almost gets hurt. Vintage Vick. 

10:58: Damn you, Revis!! He breaks up a pass on 3rd down. It's the kind of play that wins games. It's followed by a terrible Quigley punt. You're on the next slow boat to Perth, Quigs! 

7:49: Brady rips the Jets' heart out with a TD pass on 3rd on 19 as Antonio Allen gets toasted again. I'd like to say that wasn't completely predictable. I really would. Pats 27- Jets 19. 

7:37: On a gadget play, Geno pitches to Mike Vick and hilarity ensues. Vick gets absolutely crushed. The Pats commit a penalty, but that was embarrassing. Geno then realizes he has as WR not named Decker and finds Kerley for 16. Geno competes and has heart, you gotta give him that. 

5:40: Geno scrambles for a 1st down. I guarantee most Jets' fans are already preparing for this scenario: Jets will score a TD and then miss the tying  2-pt conversion. It's in our DNA. I swear I'm saying this live in case it comes true later. 

2:31: TD to Cumberland! He celebrates with a little bird dance that my 4-year-old noticed and just imitated precisely. That was fun. But, I'm preparing for the inevitable 2 pt fail. The Jets' last 2 pt conversion was 2010. That says it all. Do they even have a play for this? It might involve a fade to Nick Folk. They'd never expect it!  

Here's the Jets' rookie tight end!
2:31: Ugh. A low percentage lob to a tight end with hands like Shakes the Clown surprisingly doesn't work. Four years and counting since that last 2 pt. conversion. Time for a drink! 

2:26: A very good onside kick from Folk fails as Jets players look around disinterested. 

1:06: Jets get it back around their 10 yard line. 

0:30: Two middle screens gain some yards and waste precious time. Really would be nice to have those 2 timeouts they burned. 

0:08: Jets matriculate to the 40 yard line for a 58-yard fg attempt. They clearly think Nick Folk can walk on water at this point. 

0:00: Nick Folk is human. Kick blocked. Pats 27 Jets 25. 

It was a valiant effort by the Jets tonight. This is a team that's just good enough to lose in painful fashion every other week. I've seen worse. 

Week 7 picks: 
Colts -3.5 over the Bengals 
Redskins -5.5 over Titans 
Bears -3.5 over Dolphins 
Panthers +7 over Packers
Falcons +7 over Ravens 
Jags +6 over Browns 
Seahawks -7.5 over Rams 
Vikings +6 over Bills 
Saints +3 over Lions 
Cowboys -6.5 over Giants 
Chargers -4 over Chiefs 
Cards +4 over Raiders
Niners +7 over Broncos
Steelers -3.5 over Texans 

We end with an underrated song by an underrated dude named Hudson Bell. Things start to get good at the 1 minute mark. Enjoy the games! 

Friday, September 26, 2014

Week 4 NFL Picks & the Fall Television Preview!

Oh, he's Baaaak-ula

This week we’ll take a break from over-analyzing each NFL game and take a look at the new Fall television season. Like most years, it promises to be both excellent and awful. But, this year will feature more Scott Bakula and that's a win for everyone. And, there are so many new shows with intriguing titles like “Stalker” and “How to Get Away With Murder.” What could those be about I wonder? There’s no way to tell! If you’d like to skip the fun, scroll to the bottom of this post for my sure-fire NFL winners.
"This is the best staring bridge in New Orleans." And....scene.
NCIS: New Orleans
That same hot Navy action that's enthralled the elderly set for years heads to the deep south. Prepare yourselves for a lot of sweat-stained uniforms and Bourbon Street hijinks. I’ve never watched any of the NCISs (not easy to say that without lisping), and I probably won’t start now. But still, it is New Orleans. I’m listening! What if there’s a sing-a-long at Pat O’Brien’s Piano Bar? I won’t want to miss that. What if there’s a character named Big Daddy, lots of Cajun accents, some sloe gin and bumper shots of the bayou and crocs? Things could really go somewhere. This show could probably use itself some David Caruso, but then again, so could they all. Projected TV lifespan: 40 episodes. 
Did you ever notice that comedians get their own shows? I mean what is the deal! Let’s hope this goes the Seinfeld or Louis CK route rather than literally every other single comedian that ever had a show route. Mulaney is actually funny though, as is Nasim Pedrad, so I may give this one a shot. However, in the clip I saw, Mulaney appears to dim the lights and do standup in the middle of his show, which would really be strange. Are the other characters frozen in time? I don’t abide a breaking of the third wall unless it’s done by Tom Selleck at the end of a Magnum episode in a freeze frame. Projected TV lifespan: 1 season. 
The McCarthys
This is apparently about a “loud-mouthed, sports-crazed Boston family that...” I’m gonna stop you right there. Projected TV lifespan: 1.5 episodes, will be yanked in the middle of episode 3. 
Jane the Virgin
A girl is mistakenly artificially inseminated and is pregnant despite being a virgin. This is what happens when your gynecologist is Dr. Spaceman. If we had a nickel for every time this premise was proposed to Hollywood, we’d all have to share that nickel. Projected TV lifespan: 9 months. 
Gotham boasts 2 hours of sunlight everyday.
Finally, something comic-book related! It’s about time, Hollywood. I’ve got this one all Tivoed up, but am already skeptical. Can a kid from the wrong side of the tracks in Chino really be the district attorney? Doubtful. I wish they didn’t call the city Gotham. I’m really tired of that place, it looks more depressing than Seattle and it’s been destroyed like 80 times over. I bet the rents are good, but does it even have one park? How about a 24-Hour fitness? A Chipotle? Would it kill somebody to open a curtain and let some light in? Projected TV lifespan: 6 seasons and a movie. 
Marry Me
Despite a horrendous title and premise (2 people can’t get their marriage proposal right), I’m probably on board because Ken Marino is hilarious and Casey Wilson was in “Happy Endings,” which is the best comedy of the last 5 years easily. Projected TV lifespan: 13 episodes, then canceled, then picked up by Netflix, which will add adult language and graphic violence to boost ratings.  
Prepare to fall in love, America.
Clearly, another show for the ladies. What girl doesn’t like to curl up by the fire all by herself and imagine some creepy dude is outside staring at them? Endless fun! But, it does have Dylan McDermott being intense, so all hope is not lost. Also, why must the hoodie continue to be maligned as a wardrobe choice? Let's hope no cops watch this show. Projected TV lifespan: Only the stalker knows. 
This sitcom is so “now” and so meta that it will make you want to run screaming into oncoming traffic while texting. "Selfie" will combine everything you hate about Facebook and the Internet into a 30-minute infomercial about branding. Get the popcorn ready! TV lifespan: 9 episodes. 

The Mysteries of Laura
The only mystery here is dear God, why? Critics have lambasted this hot mess-ing (Zing!) already.In episode one of this trainwreck, Deborah Messing drugs her kids via the ol' Robitussin method. Even Adrian Peterson is like, "that's not cool." Nah, he's a jerk, he's probably okay with it. TV lifespan: /Checks just got canceled. 

In a week of fairly uninteresting matchups, we do get Teddy Bridgewater's first start and a probable shootout between New Orleans and Dallas. 

Peyton should use the bye week to get that elbow checked.
It's annoying that 6 teams already have byes after 3 weeks. Every year this happens. Who works for 3 weeks and gets a vacation? What is this, Congress? 

I also look forward to Mike Vick's next telegraphed 1-yard option run at a weirdly inopportune time that grinds a Jets' drive to a screeching halt. C'mon, it's Geno's job to do that! 

Also good news, no more round-the-clock Jeter talk after Sunday. Just 3 more days to get through, everyone! Enjoy the games! 

Atlanta -3 over Minnesota
Colts -8 over Tennessee 
Bills +3 over Houston 
Detroit -2.5 over Jets 
Bears +2 over Green Bay 
Ravens -3.5 over Carolina 
Eagles +4.5 over San Fran 
New Orleans -3 over Dallas  
Chiefs +3.5 over New England 
Steelers -7.5 over Tampa Bay 
Jags +13.5 over Chargers 
Raiders +3.5 over Dolphins 

Last week's record: 10-5
Overall record: 15-13 

Friday, September 19, 2014

Week 3 NFL Picks! Welcome to Suspensionville

Yes, welcome to the bucolic town of Suspensionville: where running backs go to get away from life's little whoopsies. Take a leisurely stroll down O.J. Simpson Boulevard and don't forget to check out the posh Jim Brown Hotel, where all the balconies can be used as exits

Have to give it to the NFL though, they've unveiled a new motto this week that's sure to appease the masses:  "THE NFL...where you can hit anyone until the game actually starts. Then we throw flags." It may need some work. On to the picks! 

Dallas -1.5 at St. Louis 
Hey, the Cowboys are back on pace for an 8-8 season. The universe is at peace once again. The Rams should really just go back to L.A. at this point. They can all take the bus out here and then emerge from it on Sunset Blvd. like Missouri farm girls with stars in their eyes. You know, just like that Poison song. Cowboys 26 Rams 20 

Baltimore -1.5 at Cleveland 
The clamoring for Johnny Football has begun, and I applaud it. A lot of people take pleasure in watching Heisman winners fail in the NFL. I usually don't, but this time I'll make an exception. 
Ravens 17 Browns 14  

See Jets? Jordy Nelson can be covered! Take notes! 
Green Bay +2.5 at Detroit 
Late memo to Rex Ryan: You may want to put a couple guys on this Jordy Nelson fellow. He likes to catch the "football" on a play called "every pass play" and then he run fast towards a place that gives you 6 points known as the "end zone."  Lions 38 Packers 34. 

New Orleans -10 vs. Minnesota
Time for the Pet Peeve of the Week! This week, it's the guy behind me at a concert shouting like a schoolgirl watching One Direction. Chill out, man! I went to see a show last night and this asshat behind me is screaming in my ear after every song, "WOOOHOO! YEAH! HELL YEAH!" First of all buddy, you're not at a Metallica concert, it's freaking Neutral Milk Hotel. Secondly, we're nine miles from the stage, no one can hear you except the people in your section. By the way, if you've never heard a 7-minute theremin solo or seen a guy perform "air theremin" along with it, you haven't really lived. Saints 31 Vikings 13 

Houston -2 at New York
When you are giving points to Ryan Fitzpatrick at home something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. Victor Cruz needs a more depressing TD dance for these sorry Giants. No more salsa, perhaps a sad little ballet move from "Swan Lake." Giants 19 Texans 17 

Nothing unusual going on here. Every office does this!
New England -14.5 over Oakland 
Woah, that's a spicy meatball of a point spread right there. Not sure Brady is wearing enough Ascot to cover this one. Patriots 31 Raiders 20. 

Tennessee +7 at Cincinnati 
Everyone is hopping aboard the Ginger train this year as the Bengals look formidable. It will all end in round 1 playoffs when Dalton throws 9 picks in the first quarter, but let's enjoy the ride for now. See you in the dining car for pinochle! 
Bengals 27 Titans 10 

Bills -2.5 vs. Chargers
Quality win for the Chargers over Seattle last week, and the Bills are somehow 2-0. This is what's known as a "stay-away" game. This game should have a restraining order on it. Still, why not believe in the Bills for one more week and enjoy rooting against Rivers. Bills 24 Chargers 21. 

Dolphins -4 vs. Chiefs 
This one seems too easy, the Chiefs had a cake schedule last year and are just not good without a healthy Jamaal Charles.  Dolphins 24 Chiefs 14 

Broncos +4.5 at Seahawks 
Hey, look, a Superbowl rematch! Will Peyton suffer 'Nam like flashbacks in this one? "Peyton, you're flying too low over Macho Grande! Pull up, Pull up! You'll have to decide...ahh" You're not fooling me again, Broncos. Seahawks 28 Broncos 20 

Washington +6 at Eagles
So the Eagles now have McCoy plus a rejuvenated Darren Sproles. It's kind of not fair, but you have to remember they also have Mark Sanchez on the bench. It'll even out at some point. 
Eagles 28 Redskins 27 

Bears +2.5 at Jets
Crushing loss for the Jets last week as "the Timeout game" takes its place in Jets' lore next to the "Buttfumble," "Marino's fake spike" and "Gastineau's Folly". Ahh, so much tradition. Still, it's not easy to win two night games in a row on the road. That's how I convince myself to foolishly take the Jets here. By the way, I'm sure steroids were not involved at all in this Gastineau sack dance
Jets 24 Bears 23 

49ers -3 at Arizona 
The fun stops here for Arizona I'm afraid. It would be nice if Colin Kaepernick realizes the 2nd half of the game counts as much as the 1st half. Niners 27 Cards 20.

Colts -7 at Jags 
It took what felt like years, but the Colts may finally realize Trent Richardson has the speed, body
"2.2 yards, here I come!"

control and alacrity of a newborn baby. He may as well take his hand-offs in one of these. It would be cute. Colts 30 Jags 24

Pitt +3.5 at Carolina
Not an intriguing Sunday night game at all. So how about the new fall television season? I'm very intrigued by Bad Judge. I wonder what it's about! Here's the trailer: "In a world where women can be judges...they can also be... bad. She upholds the law by day and breaks them at night. She's a judge, AND she's bad. She is....the BAD JUDGE. Thursday's at 9 on NBC!" You've got me, I'm in.
Carolina 24 Pitt 16

Enjoy the games! 

Last week's record: 6-8 (Pacing myself, it's a long season.)  

Thursday, September 11, 2014

NFL Week 2 Picks! Chicken Dinners for Everyone!

I'm sorry, I hit the snooze button, where am I? What year is this? Who killed Laura Palmer???

And...we're back. Of course, it's week 2, everyone's favorite NFL gambling week! We now know everything there is to know and can make our wagers with TOTAL CONFIDENCE before Las Vegas properly adjusts the lines. Or something.

Follow me to the huge pile of cash at the end of this column, won't you? No, you first, I insist.

The rarely seen double point! Now, two guys don't
know what to do.
Arizona -2.5 at Giants
The Giants offense looks like 11 guys who just stumbled out of a frat house on a Sunday morning after a 9-day bender. And so much pointing! Everyone pointing every which way and running around in circles like their hair was on fire. They are the student that freaks out during the SATs and just runs out of the room screaming. It’s entertaining, but I can’t take them seriously. Cards 24 Giants 18.  

New England -3.5 at Minnesota
The last place Patriots (that’s fun to write!) stumble north this week to face a feisty Vikings team that looks sneaky good. Corderelelllellelle Patterson apparently plays with a jet pack, which seems patently unfair. Don’t think the NFL will look into it though, they’ve got some other issues this week. The Pats have never started 0-2 under Belicheat. Smart money says that record holds this week. But, I’m not smart and neither are you if you’re reading this, so take the Vikes. The Pats offensive line is atrocious and Tom Brady can’t throw deep anymore. He finds it icky. So glad I drafted him on my fantasy team (like I said, me no smart!). Vikings 27 Patriots 23
Green Bay -8.5 vs. Jets
The Jets eked out an ugly win vs. the Raiders. It was the type of win that Rex Ryan loves, because he’s a dingus who hates offense. Meanwhile, the Green Bay defense is still terrible, so this seems like too many points. I envision a painful Jets loss featuring a blown early lead and some dumb penalties throughout, and some Geno Smith shenanigans while Michael Vick enjoys not getting pummeled on every play. Packers 30 Jets 24

Detroit +2.5 at Carolina
Carolina backup QB Derek Anderson shocked the world by looking like a competent player with a fully functioning arm last week. Post-game he apologized to Browns’ fans, “Um..sorry Cleve about all the sucking! My bad!” He probably caught a break because Tampa prepared to face a good QB (Cam Newton) and was not ready for a terrible one. That can really mess you up. Still, the Lions have too many weapons (players sound so much more dangerous when you call them “weapons”). They should be able to win, unless Jim Caldwell screws it up somehow (very possible) by attempting to blink or show emotion in any way. Stay stoic, Jimbo. Lions 21 Panthers 20 (lock of the week).

Pittsburgh +3.5 at Baltimore
Aahh, just what the NFL needs, Baltimore on Thursday night primetime. This whole thing is more disgraceful than CBS’ fall primetime lineup (ZING!). Last week, the Ravens fans gave Ray Rice a standing ovation before the game. STAY CLASSY, Baltimore. Seriously, if you knew what the end result was from the events in that elevator (and everyone did), wtf are you clapping for? And, to take it further, it shouldn’t have taken the release of the video for the Ravens and the NFL to act. Ray Rice had described exactly what happened already. It’s shameful. Ok, I will now dismount from my high horse….ouch, woah horsey! I’m taking the Steelers here, too much bad mojo coming off of these Ravens and Le'veon Bell may be the best player with a needless apostrophe in his name in the league. It's a caveat, but not as big a one as you might think. Steelers 20 Ravens 1

"At least we won't be 8-8 again this year, right?"
Dallas +3.5 at Tennessee
Oh, sweet Romo, what has become of you? He really is the league’s human piƱata. And he’s wearing enough padding on his pulverized ribs that we probably could find room to put some candy in there. It’d be a nice snack for the defensive lineman that rip him to shreds. JJ Watt could use a Clark bar. Tennessee has zero interesting players, but I still think they win this one. But, look for Dez Bryant to yell at someone at some point and then fake an injury. Titans 24 Cowboys 13.

Washington -.5.5 vs. Jacksonville
The Jaguars looked good for about 10 minutes last week and made everyone nervous. No one’s ready for a world where the Jags are good. Not even Jacksonville. D.C.'s leader in receiving yards is someone named Niles Paul. Frankly, that name sounds made up and I don’t believe it. Niles Paul works in I.T. and is coming by to fix my computer right now, you can't fool me! Notice I didn’t say Red$#*# at all in this write up? Take that, Snyder! You're welcome, Indians everywhere. You're also welcome for all the money I dropped at your casinos this past year. I do my part. Redskins 17 Jags 13

Cincy -5 vs. Atlanta
It’s time for my Pet Peeve of the Week! This week my pet peeve is the cast of The Today Show. Why are they always standing outside? Must they block traffic in an already congested city with stupid concerts? No one wants a concert at 8 am besides 12-year-old girls. And, why must they be so happy at 7am? Are they coked up? Go inside and calm down you caffeinated nut jobs.  Bengals 26 Falcons 23

Houston -3 at Oakland
Oof. The good news is there are plenty of seats still available for this one, folks. Strap on the biker gear and Road Warriors’ paint and go enjoy yourselves at the outdoor septic tank known as Oakland Alameda County Coliseum! The Texans will win this and cover by the exact score of I don’t care to who gives a crap.

Denver -13 vs. KC
Well, this line sure escalated quickly. Denver’s offense again looks unstoppable, yet they only won by 7 last week and Peyton missed on just enough passes to make you wonder if he’s slipping just a tad. Chiefs aren’t quite as bad as they looked last week. Take the pointy points here and make something nice with them, perhaps a hat. Broncos 31 Chiefs 21

New Orleans -4 vs. Cleveland
Well, Josh Gordon is still out and Cleveland lost in Week 1 after coming all the way back from 24

Cheer up, you have Lebron! And the Rock n' roll Hall of Fame!
points down because they decided to punt on 4th and 6 from the Steelers 36 yard line. Oh and Ben Tate is hurt already. Might as well call him the Not Very Bendy Tate, am I right? Oh, that’s compelling and rich! Off to another rollicking start in the Cleve! They will regret passing on Sammy Watkins for a long time.
Saints 34 Browns 17

Rams +6 at Bucs
Egads. I'd rather have an hour long conference call with Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless discussing Tim Tebow than watch this game. Ok, maybe not. Still, move it along, nothing to see here.
Bucs 9 Rams 6

49ers -7 vs. Bears
For some reason, people still think the Bears have a good defense. I know I do despite all evidence to the contrary. Something about the cold, and their history says they should have a good D. They do not. 49ers 33 Bears 27

"This coat is not downy fresh! Grr!"
Seahawks -6 at Chargers
We got to see angry and chapped Philip Rivers last week, such a great treat! Facing the Seahawk D, you can expect to see a lot more of it, can't wait. Seahawks 23 Chargers 12

Enjoy the games, everyone!