Friday, February 3, 2012

The Official Super Bowl Drinking Game..Plus Super Bowl Prop Bets!


Super Bowl Drinking Game 
Let's face it, the Super Bowl can often feel like an endless game. Why not make it more interesting by getting sauced and passing out before halftime? Then, you'll wake up a couple of hours later and still catch the final five minutes. Plus, you'll miss Madonna's performance, and those scary jacked up biceps she has, it's a win-win.

Here's the rules (and please note, this is the only Super Bowl Drinking game that's fully endorsed by the NFL). And, oh yeah, drink "responsibly".

Take 1 sip: 
Fact: the entire free world is sick of Gronkowski's
ankle updates.

  • On every mention of Gronkowski's ankle (warning: this rule alone could put you in a coma) 
  • Every time there's a penalty flag thrown
  • Every time Eli Manning gets sacked (drink twice if it's Brady getting sacked, since that's always great).
  • For every field goal 
  • For every yard gained (just kidding, don't do this, you'll die, this will be a shootout).
  • If Chris Collinsworth says something like "I just don't know about that..."
His face really lights up a room, doesn't it?
Take 2 sips:
  • If there's a commercial that makes someone laugh out loud
  • If there's a commercial that's so stupid it makes someone throw something at the TV because they can't believe an ad agency got paid millions for pure sewage (i.e. Jack in the Box, Burger King).
  • When Bill Belichick is shown on screen not saying anything.
  • When Tom Coughlin is shown on screen yelling.
  • If either team is forced to punt
  • If Peyton Manning, Archie Manning, Gisele or any celebrity is shown on camera. 
 Take 3 sips: 
Uh-oh, time to drink.
  • During injury timeouts (you may also want to poor some of your drink out as a salute to the fallen)
  • During replay challenges (it passes the time)
  • For illegal hits on defenseless receivers (this may proceed an injury timeout for a double whammy!) 
  • When Eli Manning makes his sad/sulky/whiny face
  • When Chad Ochocinco is seen on the bench
  • If Madonna sings "La Isla Bonita" which I always thought was one of her more underrated songs.
"Hey refs, they're being mean to me!"
Take 4 sips: 
  • For every turnover
  • For every missed field goal
  • During pointless sideline interviews
  • When Brady complains about getting hit too hard or too late or too early.
  • When Wes Welker's "great hands" and "scrappyness" are mentioned
  • If Tim Tebow is mentioned (it will happen)

Take 5 sips: 
If #80 is dancing, you must imbibe.
  • If a team converts a 4th down try.
  • If Danny Woodhead is referred to as "little Danny Woodhead"
  • If Victor Cruz does the salsa dance 
Shotgun your drink: 
  • When David Tyree's helmet catch is shown
  • If Ochocinco makes a catch
  • If the Giants win and defeat the forces of evil

Giants +2.5 vs. Patriots 

Before the fun prop bets, let's get the actual game out of the way. It's been completely over-analyzed by now, so I can't really add anything new. Both teams can pass, both teams can't defend the pass well. The Giants can run the ball a little more. The Patriots had one of the easiest schedules in the league, with zero wins over winning teams until the playoffs.

Everyone seems to be taking the Giants to win, since they can rush the passer and stop the run, and Gronk's ankle is a concern. It makes sense. Yet, the spread hasn't changed much, which means Vegas likes the Patriots, or smart big money is on the Pats. I'm taking the Giants, because they will get to Brady, and I don't think the Pats have any real chance of covering Cruz, Nicks and Manningham. Also, they're the Pats, the evil cheating cheaters, so screw taking them. Giants 31 Patriots 30
Overall record: 112-79-9 Playoffs: 5-1 vs. the spread (you're welcome)

Prop Bets: 
Many prop bets are pure sucker bets (i.e. who will score the first TD) but there's a few where you can gain an advantage. For example, on the opening coin toss the Patriots always defer and kick, while the Giants always elect to receive. This is why the Patriots are -330 to win $100 to kick off to start the game, but it's pretty much a lock (I know, famous last words). Here's some more props that are particularly intriguing. 
Kelly could finish a 4-course meal in 1:34, but not the anthem.
  • Coin Toss (heads -105, tails -105) Nothing says "I love gambling and may have a problem!" more than betting on the coin toss. My advice? Tails never fails, baby!
  • Combined Sacks by both teams (4.5): take the over, neither team will run that much, and each QB has the elusiveness of a glacier.  
  • New England's total rushing yards (100.5): take the under, this one seems too easy. 
  • Shortest field goal of the game (24.5 yards): take the under, when these teams get inside the 10, their going to get a TD or go for it on 4th down. 
  •  Combined Touchdowns (6.5): take the over
  • Super Bowl MVP: Eli Manning (7 to 4). If you think the Giants can win, it makes sense to bet Eli, as QBs almost always win the MVP. A good dark horse bet is Cruz at 8 to 1, or Nicks at 15 to 1.
  • Will there be a defensive or special teams TD? No (-190) 
  • Which half will have more points scored? Take the 2nd half (-140), since teams usually are rusty and don't score that much in the first halves of Super Bowls (note: I've done no research to back up this assertion). 
  • Will Wes Welker have a TD (+110) know scrappy Welker is going to scrap his way into the endzone at some point. 
  • Will Kelly Clarkson's National Anthem exceed 1 minute and 34 seconds? Oh, hell yes.
  • Will Madonna where an NFL jersey at any point during her set? Yes (+250) she is from New York, it could happen.
Enjoy the game, everyone!

1 comment: