Favorite Quotes from Hawaii 5-0 That Were Never Said, But Should Have Been

Please note, I've never watched this show, but I hear it's not at all terrible. I'll probably never watch it, because I strongly dislike the diminutive Scott Caan and just can't get onboard with anything he is involved in. I don't know if it's the hair or the rolled up sleeves or the little tough guy/Napoleon complex that he walks around with, but he vexes me greatly. With that said, here's my favorite quotes that were never actually said, but certainly should have been said at some point during season one of Hawaii 5-0.



Scott Caan looks bitter, probably because
his lifts still aren't helping

"They've gone up to the volcano ... do you know what that means? Run!"
"Now that that we caught our man, how 'bout we catch that sunset, baby?"  
"This island will seduce you...but there is danger here, my friend"
"Hey man, this ain't Magnum P.I., I'm not Rick and he's not Higgins and T.C. isn't going to fly in here on a chopper and save us!"
"You know I could arrest you right here for wearing that bikini, right?"
"You flew here, but we grew here, you Haole."*
"It's the gods, you've upset them."
"Looks like... he caught the last wave he'll ever catch."**
"You can go ahead and jump off this cliff, or you can choose to live, dammit."
"Dude, I told you, my outrigger is in the shop!"
"That's not a whale, that's a goddamn submarine!"
"Look, you can tell me about it here on our surfboards in the ocean, or we can go downtown and talk about it. Which do you pref-  look out, wave!"
"You probably can't tell way down there, but up here, the view is nice."***



*I imagine they steal liberally from Blue Crush
**I also imagine they steal from CSI
***Said to Scott Caan on numerous occasions