|FYI, this is what happens when you bet against Tim Tebow.|
Denver +6.5 vs. New England
Let's get the weekly Tebow rant out of the way first. I'll admit, I'm still in the anti-Tebow camp. I think he's terrible, yet unfathomably lucky. It's very lonely here in Anti-Tebow Camp, there's not many of us left. It's the winter of our discontent. Starvation and frostbite has set in. It looks a lot like this (fast forward to 5:09).
I do understand the Tebow-mania. Last week's comeback was scintillating, heart-stopping football. I was rooting for him, while simultaneously being repulsed by his throwing motion and knuckleballs, and by the Bears choke job. When athletes succeed in spite of huge talent deficiencies it makes us all feel good - like we could do it, too. Yet, it's not like Tebow is that bad. He won a Heisman and was a 1st round pick. He's supposed to be decent. The fact that media makes him out to be this Tiny Tim that just dropped his crutches and starting playing is what's so annoying about him.
And the religious factor takes it to another level. Marion Barber did not run out of bounds by himself. He was pushed by the hands of destiny. And those same hands made him fumble in overtime, helped Prater kick a 59-yard field goal and made the Bears retreat into a prevent defense. Such busy hands.
|"Hmm, maybe I'm really right-handed?"|
Do you know how many other quarterbacks managed to courageously score 13 points last weekend? NEARLY ALL OF THEM. 26 of the 32 quarterbacks in action got 13 points or more (without the help of overtime and 120 yards worth of field goals). WHERE IS THEIR PARADE? It doesn't take away the fact that Tebow has been amazing for fans to watch. But, it does bring us back to reality a little. HE WILL FALTER, YOU'LL SEE!
New England 27 Denver 17
Dallas -7 at Tampa
|Who doesn't dream of one day playing in the Idaho Potato Bowl?|
Washington +6.5 at NYG Rex Grossman playing in windy conditions? As my 2-year old says, "no, no, no, no, noooooooooooo." Giants 31 Skins 13
Philly -3 over the Jets
On the Red Zone Channel last week there were two close games that ended simultaneously and you could tell Andrew Siciliano was euphoric. "THIS IS WHY YOU WATCH THE RED ZONE CHANNEL! YOU SEE IT ALL HERE!" he exclaimed. He's right, but he doesn't have to be so smug about it. Not a good matchup for the Jets here. They seem to win when I pick against them, so:
Eagles 28 Jets 27
Tennessee -6.5 at Indy
|There really should be one for "confusion."|
Green Bay -14 at KC
The Chiefs just gave up 37 points to a Jets offense that normally takes 10 minutes to drive down the field and kick field goals. Logic dictates the Packer will score 1,270 points on Sunday. It's just math, folks. But the Pack are missing Greg Jennings, and KC wisely fired their angry bearded head coach, so let's be generous to the Chiefs here. Green Bay 45 KC 10
Cincinnati -6.5 at St. Louis
Hey, ex-Jet Kellen Clemens will be quarterbacking for St. Louis this weekend. Last week, St. Louis played a one-legged Sam Bradford instead of Clemens, so they are clearly quite confident in his abilities. Bengals 21 Rams 9 (lock of the week)
Cleveland +6 at Arizona
Yuck. Top five things I'd rather watch than this game: 5.) an episode of Whitney 4.) an episode of Broke Girls 3.) A Kate Hudson movie 2.) The View 1.) Jose Reyes hitting a triple in a Marlins uniform (sheds tear). Arizona 23 Browns 16
New Orleans -6 at Minnesota
|WANTED for Killing an HBO Series: Steve Zahn|
New Orleans 34 Minny 24
Seattle +3.5 at Chicago
Can the Bears recover from last week's Tea-bagging? Whoops, I mean Tebowing. Not if Caleb Heinous remains their QB. I know Donovan McNabb is washed up, but he'd be a huge upgrade over Heinous (as he should and must be called). The Seahawks will just not go away, no matter how much we want them to. You could have made a lot of money if you had bet at the beginning of the year that Marshawn Lynch would be showered with Skittles after touchdowns. Astronomical odds on that. Seattle 13 Bears 12 (upset special)
Baltimore -2 at San Diego
San Diego is making their late season run that causes people to forget that Norv Turner is the reason they were 4-7. Baltimore looks better without Ray Lewis, and every announcer is scared to mention that. It's like they think Ray Ray will pull up to their house in a limo. Yeah, can't blame them.
Chargers 23 Ravens 20
Detroit -1 at Oakland
|Expect a big game from Bo this weekend.|
Detroit 31 Oakland 21
Carolina +6.5 at Houston
TJ Yates continues to impress, despite no one knowing who the hell he is while Cam Newton alternates between Superman and Blankman on a weekly basis. Blankman has had some control issues, but take the points here. Houston 24 Carolina 20
Jacksonville +13.5 at Atlanta
|This guy owns the Jaguars. No, seriously.|
Overall Record: 84-64
Last week: 5-5