Obscure Baseball Player of the Week: Billy Jo Robidoux

In a new feature here at Dave's Deep Dish, we will be looking at obscure major league baseball players that time has forgotten. These players were forgotten for good reason, yet they will have one thing in common: they have cool names. Today we look at the short and anything but illustrious career of one Billy Jo Robidoux. Though he sounds like a character out of a James Lee Burke novel, Billy Jo Robidoux was real. The X is silent, because silent Xs rule. Billy Jo was most likely discovered by a scout on the shores of a backwater bayou playing stickball with a broken fishing pole as a bat and a ball made of chewing gum and molasses. To make ends meet he wrestled alligators and operated a fan boat. In his spare time, he moonlighted at a bait and tackle shop where he shot the breeze about how hot it was gettin'.

At least that's my theory. Closer inspection reveals he was born in Western Mass, so that puts a kink in that storyline. Robidoux's career was brief and unmemorable, like a comet that no one cared to look at, for it burned their eyes. After straight up dominating the Texas League in 1985 for the El Paso Diablos, he got his shot with the Milwaukee Brewers that September and popped up to second base in his first at bat against Yankees pitcher, Rich Bordi. It was all downhill from there.

Billy Jo Robidoux would go on to play sparingly from 1985-1990 for the Brewers, White Sox and Red Sox amassing a career average of .209. He made up for the low average by hitting for no power whatsoever (.286 slugging) and not getting on base (.313 OBP). For the sabermetrically inclined, his Wins Above Replacement (WAR) was a robust -2.8. Those numbers are fairly horrific for a first baseman, which he allegedly was. Those numbers would also not be very good for a pitcher. It's almost amazing he was allowed to bat 547 times at the major league level. He was probably gritty and played the game the right way. But, at the very least, he made it to the big leagues and lived his dream. Plus, look at that mustache. He may have hit like a minor leaguer, but that mustache is professional. Congrats, Billy Jo, Dave's Deep Dish says you're a big winner today.

One of Billy Jo's problems may have been this overly

 relaxed batting stance.

Predicting Tim Tebow's First Season With Jets

Noooooo!

Today, the inevitable happened. The LOLJets traded a fourth and sixth round pick for Tim Tebow. It's a historic trade, because the Jets are now the first NFL team to officially troll their own fan base. It started a few weeks ago when they inexplicably extended Mark Sanchez' contract and made him one of the highest paid QBs in the game, despite the fact that he is coming off a year where he was barely average and led the league in fumbles. Most glaring, he was terrible in December when all they needed was one more win to get into a wide open playoffs. They also signed him right as Peyton Manning was available. But why go after one of the most accurate QBs in league history, when you can get Tim Tebow? Apparently, the Jets "brain trust" decided that they didn't have enough QBs on their roster that possessed questionable arm strength and accuracy issues.

Update: ESPN is now reporting the trade may not got through (a miracle!) because of some wording in Tebow's contract. Probably the wording is "thou shall not trade Tim Tebow to a city full of sin, such as New York or New Orleans or you shall feel the wrath of...". But, for entertainment purposes, let's see how Timmy's first season with the Jets could have played out in timeline form:

April 4: Tebow shows up at camp 2 months early and starts training 24/7. Because he's Tim Tebow dammit and sleep is for sinners. 

April 28: After watching Tebow throw for a week, Jets new offensive coordinator Tony Sparano resigns. Jets bring in Brett Favre to tutor Tebow. Tebow tells Brett, "just don't text me, bro."

May 24: Tebow meets Antonio Cromartie at Jets facilities. Tebow forgives Cromartie for disparaging comments and asks if Cro would like his illegitimate kids blessed and circumsized. Cromartie punches Tebow. Tebow turns other cheek and is punched again. Cromartie is suspended for first 8 weeks of season. 

"Someday I hope to be as accurate as you, Mark."

August 10: In his first preseason game, Tebow enters the game in the fourth quarter and completes 3 of 13 passes with two interceptions against the Eagles 5th string defense that consists largely of 40-year old gym teachers. Jets coach Rex Ryan praises his "winning intangibles". When asked what intangibles actually are, Ryan says "they are like little tasty snacks." The QB controversy begins. 

August 28th: In his last preseason game, Tebow plays quarterback, running back, fullback, tight end, free safety and special teams. He plays every position poorly, but no one notices that part. Jets extend Tebow's contract through 2014.

2012 Regular Season: 
Week 1: Mark Sanchez throws 4 tds and 3 picks, and Tebow converts a key fourth down as Jets win in overtime. All is well. Jets extend Sanchez' contract through 2020. Skip Bayless writes that Tebow should start.

Week 4: Sanchez has a historic day, fumbling 9 times in a blowout loss to Seattle. Matt Flynn, who the Jets could have signed, throws for 5 TDs. Fans start chanting for Tebow in 4th quarter. On ESPN radio, Colin Cowherd clamors for Tebow and claims the Jets have "you problem" and not a "me problem" whatever that means.

Week 8: After Sanchez pulls his hamstring in a freak nightclub dancing accident, Tebow gets his first start. He goes 5 for 25 with 2 interceptions, but Jets beat winless Jacksonville 6-3. 

Week 12: Tebow wins his 5th straight game, despite completing 4 passes for negative 140 yards. Santonio Holmes retires in frustration. Skip Bayless' head explodes with delight.

Week 17: Playing for their playoff lives, Jets lead Dolphins at halftime by 28 points thanks to Darrelle Revis' four interception return TDs. During halftime, Jets extend Tebow through 2035 with an option for 2036. After halftime, Tebow throws 5 picks and Jets lose. Mark Sanchez watches from bench, happily enjoying a hot dog and checking his bank account statements.

NBA Mid-Season Review - Things You May Have Missed

Jeremy Lin...about to do something great,
or commit a turnover.

It's been one of the strangest NBA seasons in recent memory. First the lockout, then a truncated schedule that has teams playing about 18 games a week (the Sunday matinees have been delightful!). The Chris Paul non-trade to the Lakers, then surreal trade to the Clippers (a nice early Christmas present for all) kicked things up a notch, especially out here in LA.

From a viewer standpoint, it's been great, there's an absurd amount of games to watch. I don't even have the NBA package anymore (due to my NJ Nets sucking and whatnot) and I don't miss it. TNT, ESPN and NBA TV are showing more games than ever. Plus, there's WGN showing the occasional Bulls game, God bless that super station. Sure the level of play has suffered a bit - scoring is way down, and even worse, the refs seem more inept than ever. But, for most die-hard fans, quantity can often outweigh quality.

Jeremy Evans: Coming soon to the NBDL.

Really, the worst week of the season is the All Star Week. The unbearable self promotion, the horrible attempts to create something significant out of something silly. Seeing Kenny Smith in uniform. It's like watching the ESPYs for three days straight. This year's dunk contest was one of the worst ever, and won by a player that will most likely not even be in the NBA next year. Sorry, Jeremy Evans, but one day you'll wish you had as good a career as Dee Brown, Harold Minor and Ced Ceballos. It was telling that as Jeremy Evans was hoisting his trophy, TNT "analyst" Shaq O'Neill was pleading NBA stars like Blake Griffin to come back to the dunk contest.

With this little lamentable lull in the schedule, let's take a look at 10 random things you may have missed from the first half of the year, plus some predictions. Why 10? I don't know, because it's Mookie Blaylock's number, let's go with that for now.

"Don't you forget about me..I'll
be alone, dancing you know it, baby"

1) LeBron James... still ridiculously good. Shooting his highest field goal percentages ever, and averaging 27 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists and 2 steals is unbelievable. The Heat are destroying teams and have to be the favorite to win it all. If they don't, LeBron may demand a trade to Oklahoma City. His season at least statistically could go down as one of the best in history and hardly anyone is noticing, because ...

2) Jeremy Lin... I love watching Lin, but it has been a bit much, hasn't it? The problem with stories like this is that they can often suffocate the very player they are celebrating. Let's just let him play and not overanalyze his every game, his every turnover, which as we know, are incredibly frequent. Seriously, it sometimes seems like he forgets how to dribble, then he goes around 4 guys for a layup. He's hard to figure. And did Sports Illustrated really need to give back to back covers? When the Knicks get swept by the Heat in round 1, remember that it's not Jeremy's fault.

3) My 10 favorite players in the league right now to watch: Kevin Durant, Monta Ellis, Steph Curry, Russell Westbrook, Blake Griffin, Steve Nash, Kyrie Irving, Lou Williams, Kevin Love, Chris Paul. All of these guys bring it every night and are worth the price of admission...maybe not for the first row, but Loge section at least.

4) Kobe Bryant...still selfish after all these years.

Kobe complaining about a call? Never.

The NBA's quickest trigger got off to a nice start and is leading the league in scoring. He's also shooting more than anyone, and in recent weeks he's been under 40%. Kobe has never been a very efficient scorer, and as he gets older he's just not getting as many bail out calls. He's also not hitting the 3 anymore. Plus, he's got that octagenarian finger, which can't help. I hear when he watches TV that finger tries to change the channel to The Golden Girls. Anyway, the window could be closing on him getting anymore titles, and as someone who really dislikes him, it's schadenfreud-tastic to watch.

5) Ricky Rubio...overrated. Sorry, I just can't get that excited about a guy that cannot hit the broad side of a barn with his jump shot. Also, call me old-fashioned, but every move he makes is a travel or a carry. He's Manu Ginobili without that bald spot.

6) Kris Humphries...why so much hate? The poor guy gets booed mercilessly in every city all because he had the terrible taste to marry a Kardashian. Hasn't he suffered enough? He plays hard, and is actually a solid player. The only reason to dislike him is that he spells Chris with a "K" which is admittedly, annoying. The really shocking thing is how many Americans have apparently watched that show.

Jimmer Fredette is following the Adam Morrison
NBA career path.

7) Your NBA mid-season Anti-All-Stars (i.e. worst players in the league): Jimmer Fredette, DeShawn Stevenson, Ryan Gomes, Shelden Williams, Jamaal Magloire. All of these guys rank among the lowest in PER at their positions, which measures players' efficiency/productivity per minute. And, not surprisingly, two of these players are Nets. And note to Jimmer: you've let down America, buddy. We needed a hero named Jimmer, and you've failed. But there's still time, you don't have to be the next Adam Morrison.

8) Player that I wish would get more playing time because he has an awesome name: Bismack Biyombo

9) Speaking of Biyombo, his Charlotte Bobcats are 4-28. Two things...it's time to get Biyombo some more PT. Also, I think the ship has sailed on Charlotte being an NBA city, sorry MJ.

10) My playoff predictions:
First round East: Heat over Knicks, Bulls over Atlanta, Philly over Boston, Pacers over Orlando
First round West: Thunder over Grizzlies, Clips over Golden State, Mavs over Spurs, Rockets over Lakers
Second Round East: Heat over Philly, Bulls over Pacers
Second Round West: Clips over Rockets, Thunder over Mavs
Western Conference Finals: Oklahoma City over LA Clips in 6 games
Eastern Conference: Miami Heat over Chicago Bulls in 7
NBA Finals: Heat over Thunder in 6

The Official Super Bowl Drinking Game..Plus Super Bowl Prop Bets!

 

Super Bowl Drinking Game 
Let's face it, the Super Bowl can often feel like an endless game. Why not make it more interesting by getting sauced and passing out before halftime? Then, you'll wake up a couple of hours later and still catch the final five minutes. Plus, you'll miss Madonna's performance, and those scary jacked up biceps she has, it's a win-win.

Here's the rules (and please note, this is the only Super Bowl Drinking game that's fully endorsed by the NFL). And, oh yeah, drink "responsibly".


Take 1 sip: 

Fact: the entire free world is sick of Gronkowski's
ankle updates.

• On every mention of Gronkowski's ankle (warning: this rule alone could put you in a coma) 
• Every time there's a penalty flag thrown
• Every time Eli Manning gets sacked (drink twice if it's Brady getting sacked, since that's always great).
• For every field goal 
• For every yard gained (just kidding, don't do this, you'll die, this will be a shootout).
• If Chris Collinsworth says something like "I just don't know about that..."

His face really lights up a room, doesn't it?

Take 2 sips:

• If there's a commercial that makes someone laugh out loud
• If there's a commercial that's so stupid it makes someone throw something at the TV because they can't believe an ad agency got paid millions for pure sewage (i.e. Jack in the Box, Burger King).
• When Bill Belichick is shown on screen not saying anything.
• When Tom Coughlin is shown on screen yelling.
• If either team is forced to punt
• If Peyton Manning, Archie Manning, Gisele or any celebrity is shown on camera. 

 Take 3 sips: 

Uh-oh, time to drink.

• During injury timeouts (you may also want to poor some of your drink out as a salute to the fallen)
• During replay challenges (it passes the time)
• For illegal hits on defenseless receivers (this may proceed an injury timeout for a double whammy!) 
• When Eli Manning makes his sad/sulky/whiny face
• When Chad Ochocinco is seen on the bench
• If Madonna sings "La Isla Bonita" which I always thought was one of her more underrated songs.

                                                       

"Hey refs, they're being mean to me!"

Take 4 sips: 

• For every turnover
• For every missed field goal
• During pointless sideline interviews
• When Brady complains about getting hit too hard or too late or too early.
• When Wes Welker's "great hands" and "scrappyness" are mentioned
• If Tim Tebow is mentioned (it will happen)

Take 5 sips: 

If #80 is dancing, you must imbibe.

• If a team converts a 4th down try.
• If Danny Woodhead is referred to as "little Danny Woodhead"
• If Victor Cruz does the salsa dance 

Shotgun your drink: 

• When David Tyree's helmet catch is shown
• If Ochocinco makes a catch
• If the Giants win and defeat the forces of evil

Giants +2.5 vs. Patriots 

Before the fun prop bets, let's get the actual game out of the way. It's been completely over-analyzed by now, so I can't really add anything new. Both teams can pass, both teams can't defend the pass well. The Giants can run the ball a little more. The Patriots had one of the easiest schedules in the league, with zero wins over winning teams until the playoffs.

Everyone seems to be taking the Giants to win, since they can rush the passer and stop the run, and Gronk's ankle is a concern. It makes sense. Yet, the spread hasn't changed much, which means Vegas likes the Patriots, or smart big money is on the Pats. I'm taking the Giants, because they will get to Brady, and I don't think the Pats have any real chance of covering Cruz, Nicks and Manningham. Also, they're the Pats, the evil cheating cheaters, so screw taking them. Giants 31 Patriots 30
Overall record: 112-79-9 Playoffs: 5-1 vs. the spread (you're welcome)

Prop Bets: 
Many prop bets are pure sucker bets (i.e. who will score the first TD) but there's a few where you can gain an advantage. For example, on the opening coin toss the Patriots always defer and kick, while the Giants always elect to receive. This is why the Patriots are -330 to win $100 to kick off to start the game, but it's pretty much a lock (I know, famous last words). Here's some more props that are particularly intriguing. 

Kelly could finish a 4-course meal in 1:34, but not the anthem.

• Coin Toss (heads -105, tails -105) Nothing says "I love gambling and may have a problem!" more than betting on the coin toss. My advice? Tails never fails, baby!
• Combined Sacks by both teams (4.5): take the over, neither team will run that much, and each QB has the elusiveness of a glacier.  
• New England's total rushing yards (100.5): take the under, this one seems too easy. 
• Shortest field goal of the game (24.5 yards): take the under, when these teams get inside the 10, their going to get a TD or go for it on 4th down. 
•  Combined Touchdowns (6.5): take the over
• Super Bowl MVP: Eli Manning (7 to 4). If you think the Giants can win, it makes sense to bet Eli, as QBs almost always win the MVP. A good dark horse bet is Cruz at 8 to 1, or Nicks at 15 to 1.
• Will there be a defensive or special teams TD? No (-190) 
• Which half will have more points scored? Take the 2nd half (-140), since teams usually are rusty and don't score that much in the first halves of Super Bowls (note: I've done no research to back up this assertion). 
• Will Wes Welker have a TD (+110)..you know scrappy Welker is going to scrap his way into the endzone at some point. 
• Will Kelly Clarkson's National Anthem exceed 1 minute and 34 seconds? Oh, hell yes.
• Will Madonna where an NFL jersey at any point during her set? Yes (+250) she is from New York, it could happen.

Enjoy the game, everyone!

15 Questions That Should Be Asked on Super Bowl Media Day

Today is the official Media Day at the Super Bowl. Lots of inane, pedantic questions will be asked of every player and coach in a circus like atmosphere. So, I thought it would be a great idea to ask fifteen questions of my own that would surely be more interesting than anything being asked today:

This picture needs some answers.

1) To Tom Brady: Please explain the picture to the left? What grown man rides a waterslide like that?

2) To Rob Gronkowski: Just curious, what are your preferred masking agents for the steroids you clearly use? (Since he is a meathead, this probing question may trip him up).

3) To Bill Belichick: According to your Wikipedia page you are the personification of all evil in the world... is that a lot of pressure to live up to? Follow up question, what's your preferred title: Lucifer, Satan, or Beelzebub?

4) To 'lil Wes Welker: What are your top 5 favorite bridges in the world...to live under?

5) To Chad Ochocinco: Are you sure you are still on the team? No, seriously, can we see some credentials?

Coach Coughlin contemplates murderizing another one of his players.

6) To Tom Coughlin: Your head tends to get extremely red during games...are you worried this may someday happen?

7) To Giants punter Steve Weatherford: Last year with the Jets you averaged 42 yards a punt. This year with the Giants you averaged 46 yards a punt...As a Jet fan I have to ask, what the hell is up with that, jerk?

8) To Eli Manning: What advice and pointers do you give to your less successful older brother? 

9) To Giants center Kevin Boothe: Are you often asked to "back that thang up"? 

10) To Brandon Jacobs: You tend to celebrate a lot of 1 and 2 and no-yard gains that you get. What would you do if you ever got a first down? Retire?

11) To Giants safety Kenny Phillips: I see you attended the University of Miami...was it tough to deal with the pay cut of playing in the NFL?

325 pounds? Not bloody likely.

12) To Giants WR Victor Cruz: The last Giants wide receiver that was a playoff and super bowl hero shot himself in the leg. What will you do to top that? Chop off an appendage?

13) To Patriots RB Danny Woodhead: Is it true you also star as the midget on Game of Thrones?  

14) To Patriots nose tackle Vince Wilfork: You are listed as 325 pounds...why do you fill this stadium with lies?

15) To Patriot RB Kevin Faulk: Wow, you are still in the league? What was it like playing with Red Grange?

NFL Conference Championship Picks!

Ray Lewis does his imaginary bench press dance.

And then there were four. What a year it's been. So many memories. Most of mine revolve around Mark Sanchez throwing interceptions and fumbling, but some other stuff happened, I'm pretty sure of it. On to the picks:

Baltimore Ravens + 7.5 at New England
The Pats had the perfect matchup last week vs. the Broncos. They can't defend the pass, but passing wasn't exactly a strength for St. Timmy, and the result was an annihilation the likes of which not seen since the first Crusades (when the Turks were totally outmanned, outcoached and outplayed by the Christians). It will be tougher this week, as the Ravens can slow down the Pats a little bit, and Ray Rice is about 40 times better than Willis McGehee.

Just a few years ago the Ravens went into New England and trounced them in the playoffs. But that was B.G., Before Gronkowski. I don't want to say Gronkowski is on steroids, so I'll just think it and you can read my thoughts. The guy is a beast, but it's also amazing he's consistently wide open. Safeties actually seem afraid to to try and nail him over the middle. You can't really blame them, he's about 8 feet tall and runs like a locomotive.

Rumors of Gronkowski's steroid use first began when
I typed this caption. How did he not break his neck here?
Because of steroids, duh.

The key for the Ravens is Flacco. He can't be merely mediocre like usual, he has to be great. In that playoff game in '09, Flacco threw for all of 34 yards. That's not a misprint. Even Tebow laughs at that yardage total. If he throws for 34 yards on Sunday they'll lose by 40.

The Patriots just have too many weapons right now to be stopped on their home turf, and that really angers me to admit it. The effing Patriots are going to the effing Super Bowl again and every Jet fan in the world just wants to cry. Get ready to see that blockhead Teddy Bruschi extolling them on ESPN for the next 2 weeks. But, I do think the Ravens manage to cover, and that's all that matters to us gamblers. Right?
Patriots 33 Baltimore 27

Giants +2 at San Francisco

Words with Friends claimed
another victim: The Saints D.

Well, my "lock of the year" pick went slightly awry as those pesky Niners outlasted the Saints in a game for the ages. My bad. But, it took five turnovers for them to barely eek out the win, plus two kick return fumbles, which are like double turnovers. A really good team wins that game by 21 points. They would have been the first team in history to lose a playoff game after causing 5 turnovers. Alex Smith did step up big. I still don't know how no Saint could tackle him on his improbable bootleg TD run from about 30 yards out. My theory: they were all caught playing Word with Friends on their iPhones. It happens, and I hear it's really addicting.

One might think that maybe the 49ers won me over with that gritty win last week for several reasons: Justin Smith is an absolute Manimal. I think he was in a nightmare I had recently. Donte Whitner hits like a young David Fulcher. Vernon Davis is emerging, and leads all tight ends in tear shedding. Well, one would be wrong. If the Giant defensive line could get to Rodgers, they will get to Smith, and possibly make him wet himself. Yes, the 49ers did beat the Giants in the regular season, but that was a long time ago. Plus, the Giants were driving for the win that game, when a few ridiculous play calls cost them the game.

Jacobs again celebrates a miraculous
 1 yard gain on 3rd and 2.

The Giants won't be able to run the ball in this one. And by the way, memo to Brandon Jacobs: a 2 yard gain is not reason to celebrate like you just split the atom. Stop screaming and stop acting like a jack-ass. Everyone but you knows you are washed up. The Giants would be wise to give everyone of your carries to Ahmad Bradshaw...or to if they just spiked the ball they'd probably fair better.

I can't really recall a better receiving tandem in recent memory than Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz. There was Duper and Clayton, Rice and Taylor, Harrison and Wayne, Holt and Bruce, and of course, Toon and Walker (okay, a bit of a reach there). Nicks and Cruz are still young and could surpass all of them by the time they are done.

I've not been a believer in the San Francisco 49ers all year. They've proved me wrong several times. Still, I'm not changing now. Unlike Capt. Francesco Schettino, I'm going down with this ship: Giants 27 San Fran 24

Enjoy the games!

Last week's record: 3-1
Overall record: 110-79-9

In celebration of Van Halen's improbable forthcoming reunion album and their well-received recent concert, he's some vintage VH, and one of Ed's best solos:

Let's Talk About Yahoo and Their Titillating Headlines

So Yahoo.com is my internet home page (your welcome, richy riches) and I'll be damned if they don't tempt me time and again with their incendiary headlines. Congrats, Yahoo editors, you headlining pimps know your game. Of course, it's all about hits and page views and Yahoo is awesome at choosing stories you just have to take a little gander at, even when you know the story will not come remotely close to living up to the headline. In fact, you will feel idiotic for clicking on the story. You will want those 8 minutes back (yes, I'm a slow reader, get off my back). You will feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick Lucy's football. And, like a filthy bowling ball thrown down the gutter, you will come back for more. Let's take a look at the stories Yahoo is currently peddling at this very moment in time and rate them on their click-worthiness.

Story #1: Neighbor Tattles on NFL Quarterback
Pre-click: Ooh, a good old-fashioned tattle story. Who would dare tattle and why? And what did the unnamed QB do? Did he murder someone? Did he forget to take out the trash? Is Big Ben on the prowl again? Has Tom Brady expanded his goat-trafficking ring? The possibilities are as endless as they are sordid! I MUST CLICK ON IT AND FIND OUT THE NAME OF THIS NEFARIOUS QB AND HIS BIRD-SINGING NEIGHBOR!

Post click: Yup, I feel stupid. Turns out Joe Flacco chose to ride a skateboard, and his neighbor phoned his team's front office to tell on him. First off, HOW DOES JOE FLACCO SLEEP AT NIGHT?? Choosing to skateboard and endanger lives like that. Secondly, and seriously, if I'm Joe Flacco and I have a dog, I'm making sure my dog goes on that neighbor's lawn every day for two straight years. And whoops, I forgot my scooper. Also, non-stop, late night parties 7 days a week. You broke the neighbor's code buddy, and now you'll pay.
Click worthiness: Though the story was idiotic, it had a mildly amusing finish that went down easy and cleansed the pallette. I regret nothing.

Story #2: Woman With Ship Captain Speaks
Pre-click: Ah yes, more fall-out from the Costa Concordia tragedy. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. Now apparently a woman is speaking about the cowardly captain. Is she a witness? Was the captain as the say, "dropping anchor" or "full steam ahead in the engine room"? Was he "hoisting his main sail" (I love nautical double entendres) in a tawdry affair below decks while the ship sank? In the annals of maritime history, this is unprecendented! I must click....

Post-click: Ugh, what a letdown. The woman in question was not with the captain, she just had dined with him, and did nothing but support the world's worst captain in her statements. At least the headline didn't totally lie, she did speak. It just wasn't anything important.
Click worthiness: I feel wronged. Not like car-jacked wronged, but cut-off on the freeway wronged.

Story #3:  Best Vitamins to Take or Avoid
Pre-click: Hmm, on the surface this seems uninteresting. But I've been thinking about taking more vitamins lately. And I've also been thinking about avoiding vitamins. This article appears to comprehensively solve both issues. It's like they watch my life. I'd better check this out...

Post-click: Tedious, endless article. It was 11 pages long and I fell asleep twice. Also, I think they were hinting that pregnant women should drop acid...or folic acid, I forget. Either way, the article was reprehensible.
Click-worthiness: I feel like I just watched George Clooney in "The American".